The scenario is a common one: your child is smart but does only enough to get by in school or even worse, won't work hard to get the grades that he or she is smart enough to receive. Your child rolls his or her eyes when you discuss the importance of good grades and says that he or she doesn't care.
How should we, as parents handle that scenario? There are some strategies you can try with your child to try to get them to take an interest in school and getting good grades.
Ways to help your child take an interest in school. If you have a child who gets poor grades but you know he or she could do so much better, you aren't alone. It's a common issue among parents who have school-aged children. It drives you crazy because you know he or she could be successful in school and it is so important to receive good grades for your child's future. It's tempting to start nagging him or her about the lack of motivation, laziness or irresponsibility. You do everything you can think of to motivate your child to get interested in school but it is not helping. There are some things that you can try to help your child.
Keep an open and positive relationship with your child. Try your best to stay on your child's side and not be against them. You will get nowhere by preaching, punishing, manipulating and threatening your child. These tactics could actually backfire and be detrimental to your child's motivation. It's normal that you feel frustrated and afraid for your child but reacting to these emotions will be fairly ineffective. Keep in mind that your child is not purposely behaving like this to anger you. Your job is to teach them how to be responsible so focus on that instead of your negative emotions.
Use the rule of "when you". In life, one of the lessons we have learned is that when we do the work, we get the rewards. If you go to work, you receive a paycheck. It is important for parents to teach this rule to their children. Therefore, when your child wants to go to a friend's house after school, tell them he or she can can go when the homework is done. Enforce the "when you" rule and be persistent.
Talk to your child's teacher. Make an appointment to see your teacher and discuss a plan. It could be that your child is having difficulty managing his or her time, or keeps forgetting homework etc - fairly simple things that can be remedied easily. Your child's teacher may also have some suggestions as to how to get your child motivated and even to catch up with the schoolwork.
Create a study spot. Consider creating a spot for your child to study in. Make sure it is a space that is quiet and as distraction-free as possible. It's best if it's a space that you can be around too so that you are there to help if needed.
Be firm but kind to your child. Try to be helpful, consistent and firm with your child instead of being controlling and punitive. Instead of nagging, focus on encouraging and supporting your child.