The tween period of development can show a significant change in behavior. One day you might have your cute, polite child and then next you have one that is disrespectful, snotty, unco-operative and demanding. As tweens are a little caught in between childhood and the teenage years, they are often confused. They may resent being treated as if they are children but really, they aren't acting like the teenagers they are soon becoming. This can be very frustrating for both parents and tweens alike, but there are ways parents can deal with a tween's rude behavior.
How to deal with a tween's rude behavior. A tween's rude behavior is fairly developmentally predictable. The tween is dealing with a budding independence and needs to re-visit the boundaries of the parent and child. It is a rough period of time that most tweens go through as they become teenagers and then adults. Despite how annoying and frustrating it can be, there are things that parents can do to deal with the rude behavior.
Go silent. A parent can choose to use the method of silence when dealing with the snarky and rude tween. Silence can be a very powerful method as your tween's thinking goes into overdrive when there is no reaction from you. Silence means there is no more arguing, no more rebelling and suddenly the onus is on the child to figure out what happens next. Your child should realize he or she must apologize in order for you to speak again. It may be hard to be silent first off as your tween may talk back and still try to argue. If you absolutely must speak, say something along the lines of " It is not ok for you to speak to anyone in that manner. I will speak with you once you apologize". Once your tween apologizes, talk things out calmly. By this time your tween has probably had a chance to cool down and possibly reflect on his or her behavior. Being silent also gives you time to calm down a bit and think about how to approach the situation once you and your tween are talking again.
Maintain your status as a parent. Do not try to be your tween's friend at this stage. You need to help and support your tween through this confusing period in life. Your tween will watch you and take cues from how you behave with different situations you encounter. He or she will need you to be calm but firm and supportive throughout this stage.
Make some new rules. As your tween develops independence, he or she will need some new rules for how to behave. Think about what is important to you and your family - honestly, good grades, right versus wrong - and focus on those things. Make rules concerning the important things and let some of the other stuff that is not as important slide. There are things that won't really matter in the long run, such as wearing clean underwear or keeping his or her room neat that are just not worth the arguing over.