Temper tantrums and toddlers go hand in hand. Temper tantrums can include ear-shattering screaming, teeth-jarring whining, piercing crying, head banging, throwing of anything in sight, biting, hitting, breath holding and hair pulling. Temper tantrums can be incredibly frustrating for parents to deal with however, a parent's outlook on the experience can affect future tantrums.
Why do toddlers have temper tantrums? Temper tantrums are typical among children between one and three years of age and affects girls and boys equally. As the temperaments of toddlers vary so do the frequency of temper tantrums. One toddler may experience rare tantrums, another may have them almost on a daily basis. It is difficult not to see them as negative but really they are normal during development. Kids do not have the same control over their thoughts and feelings as adults do. When a toddler doesn't understand how something works or can't do something they want to do they may become frustrated easily. Tantrums are usually the only tool that toddlers have to vent their frustration. There are some standard reasons for temper tantrums, including: seeking attention, being overtired, being hungry, feeling uncomfortable or feeling frustrated. Temper tantrums peak at a time when toddlers are acquiring language and they can understand more than they can express to others. Typically, tantrums decrease as the toddler's language skills improve. The need of autonomy among toddlers is also heightened which can be difficult for toddlers to handle. As the toddler struggles for power (ie I can do it myself), the incidence
How to deal with temper tantrums. There are many different ways that parents can deal with their toddlers' temper tantrums. Ensure that your child is getting enough attention. Sometimes a toddler will act up to simply receive attention from his or her parent - even if it is negative attention. Give your toddler some control when you can. By giving a little control over small things in a toddler's world, it may just fulfill the need for some independence and therefore ward off tantrums. Keep items that toddlers aren't allowed to have out of sight and reach. Doing this may avoid some struggles over items that are off-limits. Use distraction on your toddler. Toddlers have short attention spans so use the art of distraction when you see a tantrum brewing.
Recognize your toddler's limits. If you see that your toddler is hungry or tired, don't drag them to the grocery store. Keep your cool and do not complicate the tantrum by getting frustrated as this can escalate the problem. Try to understand what is going on with your toddler. Each tantrum should be handled differently, depending on why the tantrum is occurring in the first place. If the tantrum has no threat of harm to you, your toddler or others, consider ignoring the outburst. Continue doing what your are doing but do no leave your toddler alone. If the tantrum involves safety issues, take the toddler to a safe and quiet place to calm them down. If your child is older, send him or her to their room but don't impose a time limit. Tell him or her to come out when he or she has control over emotions. If the child is sent to his or her room for a time out due to bad behavior, then you will want to set a time limit. Be sure you don't reward the tantrum. If you give in once, your toddler will expect you to give in the next time. If you don't give in, the temper tantrum could be worse and last longer.